Flourish by Daniel Coyle
“We become our fullest selves in and through relationships with one another”
3 Main Messages:
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts
Communities projects benefit us physically, mentally and spiritually
We feel better by lifting others
I’ve recently been enjoying a nostalgic revisiting of the bands of the 90s, through Dermot O’Leary’s Alternative Sounds of the 90s show and various Boyband and Girlband documentaries on TV. Bands made up 41% of the top chart spots in 1995, compared to a paltry 4% in 2023, according to Datapulse. We have seen the rise of the individual in other areas too but this can be misleading because we all know that the old saying is true: it takes a village.
But perhaps these figures are misleading. Songwriters rarely work alone: Elton John writes with Bernie Taupin, Taylor Swift writes with Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner. Even notoriously independent songwriters like Sam Fender will join forces with key producers and musicians. Musical unicorns are rare because, as Jack Johnson sang: we’re better together.
It’s not just that we need to be working together in order to accomplish brilliance, Daniel Coyle believes that we need to collaborate more in order to flourish and live an enjoyable and meaningful life - hence this book.
It is a delight to read, filled with stories and examples of occasions when people have created incredible things through working together. Coyle starts and ends by sharing collaboration stories of personal meaning to him. From the annual production of the Nutcracker Ballet in the town in Alaska where he visits each year, to the success story of the Cleveland Guardians Baseball team where he consults. Both examples are of when people are better together: “Alone, we’re a good coach. But together, we make one great coach.”
Coyle suggests that people have always sought connection through collaboration, and this is why every ancient religion and community centres around holidays and festivals where people come together. He believes that coming together is when people really flourish and that the definition of ‘flourishing’ is “the experience of joyful, meaningful growth, shared with others.”
Throughout the book, Coyle shares many wonderful examples of how group projects have started small and then snowballed into something beautiful. One of my favourites is about Voorstad, and area in the Dutch city of Deventer, where the action of removing a paving slab and creating a sidewalk street garden blossomed into a movement of over 100 such street gardens, a knitting community who draped the signposts and drainpipes of the area in colourful scarves and a children’s playground which was built - all stemming from an action which united the townsfolk and sent ripples of connection through the streets.
There are also some examples of University studies which confirm Coyle’s idea that we experience greater joy and meaning when completing shared projects. One such story is of an experiment conducted by Ellen Langer, a Harvard Psychologist, who asked elderly participants to enter a house fashioned and furnished as if it was twenty years before and to ‘live as if it were twenty years ago, and to help each other to do that.’
The results were that the group were physically stronger, healthier, more flexible and had better memory skills than when they entered. Her conclusion was that they had experienced “a sense of meaningful connection,” and were physically and mentally rejuvenated as a result. Having a sense of community and purpose benefits us and keeps us young.
So many of the stories are of inspiring people who acted out of desperation; a need to make a difference and desire to do good. Zingerman’s in Ann Arbor is such an example, as is SHOFCO, started by Kennedy Odede. Through listening to people and understanding their needs, they have created communities which make their world a better place and where people thrive together.
The whole book is utterly inspiring and the perfect antidote to what feels like a heavy world as I write this in March 2026. There are plenty of pockets of positivity and whole communities of creative people who care.
As The Spice Girls (the ultimate 90s girlband) sang: "A dream of you and me together, say you believe it. We can achieve it"
